The Real Sideburnz

Sharrows!

2010-07-17T03:38:00.001-05:00

Sharrows!

Yeah, that's a pretty good one...

2010-07-14T14:25:00.001-05:00

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

Ironman 70.3

2009-07-06T01:21:00.001-05:00

I was invited to fly over to the big island to provide mechanical support for the half ironman a month or so ago. Although it got a bit stressful, it was a great experience. I worked on over 40 bikes in 4 days. Most were either builds or boxing for shipment. They had us wrenching in a pretty classy joint:

This was the men's room at the sponsor hotel, where we were wrenching. The linen hand towels were a pretty classy touch. A few of those didn't end up quite as white as they started.

Here's where they put me up. My own personal master bedroom/master bathroom, complete with jacuzzi:

There were some doozies of repairs:

This fellow came to us about an hour before his bike had to be checked into the transition area. He had a broken derailleur, broken hanger, and his rear brake wasn't working.

This is what I found when I pulled the lever off to change the housing. Two sections of housing put together. No ferrules, no nothing. They weren't even butted up against each other. Yep, here's your problem.

The next day in the support van we came across a flat, the rider had told us he'd already patched and just needed to fill up. I grabbed a floor pump, pumped him up and sent him on his way. We caught up with him a few miles down the road, the same tire flat. We swapped his wheel out and sent him on his way. At this point we were running out of spare wheels, so I was trying to get rider wheels together to hand out as spares. As I was inspecting the tire I found this:

Unfortunately the photo didn't focus correctly, but that's a glueless tube patch on the outside of a tire. Well, I think I've found your problem.

All in all it was a great time, and I met some really good people. I hope to be invited back for the Ironman World Championship later this fall.

Corner Office

2009-03-12T02:00:00.001-05:00

About two weeks ago I interviewed for a wrench position at a triathalon shop in town here. I got the job, and I've been working there for just over a week and I'm getting used to things. It's Felt/Cervelo/Litespeed/Bianchi dealer. I get to use words like "torque wrench" and "assembly compound" very reguarly. Pretty classy joint.
One thing I can't figure out though: there is a well stocked shop area on the second floor, in the corner. Windows on both sides. Nobody else wants to work there. It's become my own personal 100 square foot corner office where I tinker away on $2000+ tri bikes. Away from customers. I'm not expected to answer the phone: it doesn't even ring in the room. Out the windows above my bench I can see the Koolau mountains, and to my left Ala Wai Golf Course. I even get a commission on the work I complete while I'm busy not being interrupted. Not a bad gig.

Bad Bike JuJu

2009-03-09T21:15:00.001-05:00

Household bike destruction in the last 24 hours or so:

3 flat tires
2 broken spokes
1 crank brothers pedal body ejection.

Week of Adventure

2009-03-05T23:32:00.001-06:00

To celebrate my last week of unemployment Tim came to visit and we did a few long hikes. Starting from our door we repeated the hike Maria and I did about a week before, to the top of Tantalus from Manoa Falls trailhead. Things went well. The summit was less windy and we lunched at the peak.

The next hike was a bit more interesting. We headed out along the Western coast toward Makaha to hike a more ambitious route. Eight miles long, same as the Tantalus hike, but with about 3500 feet of elevation gain instead of 1500. Things started to get weird right away. Tim's family came along to drop us at the trailhead with their rental car. The trailhead looked like a car junkyard with a service road. Up we started on the service road. About a mile or so in we turned around to snap a photo of the view, having already gained a significant elevation. After the photo the brush to our right started to rustle. Is the wind doing that? Then it rustled faster, and closer. We sped up. I looked back to my right, fully expecting to see a furious wild boar. I was surprised, but not relieved to see a bull launch out of the weeds. A big bull.
Tim had gained about 10 yards on me. I took out my puny pocket knife. I'd likely have had more luck throwing rocks than trying to use that paltry excuse for a knife. I started both running and thinking much faster. Bush: Not strong enough. Tree: not tall enough. Telephone pole: that'd have to be it. Even if i couldn't climb it, I might be able to use it as a blocker.
The relief of seeing that bull turn its head away from us and enter the weeds on the opposite side of the service road was overwhelming. It was so relieving I couldn't help but laugh about the situation. Another 1/2 mile up I was howling with laughter.
Most of the rest of the hike was not particularly eventful except that it was very steep. We were climbing sections where people had installed electrical cords and ropes for assistance. When we neared the summit things got even steeper. We now had to maneuver over a three foot wide boulder with a 200-300ft drop on either side of it, with the aid of a garden hose. We discussed turning back for a few minutes. We decided we'd move slowly forward and turn around the minute things got any worse. Tim moved to the center of the boulder and it began to rain. We turned back.
About halfway down the ridge Tim realized he'd dropped his camera. I made my way back up the ridge, since I had the better footwear for the muddy climbs. I found the camera about 1/2 mile in, and raced back down. We completed the rest of the hike without incident. You can see Tim's photo's here

A couple of days later Tim and I booked a flight to the big island seven hours in advance. We slept soundly until 3 am, then we were volcano bound. We did a few hikes, saw the petroglyphs, made a stop at a coffee farm and met a wandering hippy who smelled things instead of eating food. All in about 48 hours. Not a bad way to leave the non-working world. Volcano photos here, courtesy of Tim.

Pugsley in Commuting Mode

2009-01-26T22:50:00.001-06:00

Not all the bike lanes are bad bike lanes!

2009-01-26T22:46:00.001-06:00

Not as nearly as bad as the Hennepin bike lane that vanishes into thin air, but still amusing. I wonder if there was a discussion about what to do about the grates: "Gee, that seems kind of dangerous, all in the middle of the bike lane and everything." "Yeah, we had better draw a line around that one."

DH Pugsley Ride

2009-01-24T14:59:00.001-06:00

I took the Fat Frank equipped Pugsley up and down the local DH trail, just outside of the university. It was quite the ride up and down:

01/24/2009 Pugsley Ride Up and Down St. Louis
Find more Bike Rides in Honolulu, Hawaii

It was a pretty good ride. You can tell I really meant business by looking at my gear:

Nothing says you're serious about offroad mountain bike riding like a rack and pannier. I get extra points for having a bungee cord attached to my rack. Also, you can tell this is a serious off road bike and not a racing bike because it has flat handlebars, and they are higher than the seat. Because this was an epic ride, I carried a coke in addition to my waterbottle.

Again, nothing says "I mean business" at the trailhead like Chaco sandles, a t-shirt with schpantz, and a bike lock. I hope you're writing this all down.

Two Weeks In

2009-01-19T14:24:00.001-06:00

Well, we've been on the island for about two weeks. Things are going pretty well, and we're getting settled in and I'm finding out where everything is.

First the marginal: Commuting is not great. It isn't horrible but it certainly leaves something to be desired. Most roads that go anywhere useful are 5+ lane and heavy traffic, although the cars aren't traveling at particularly high speeds. There are a lot of roads here that compare with University Avenue, just a bit less ugly. I don't know if there is a three foot law here, but if there is nobody follows it. Not even the police. Luckily, the traffic is so bad that when someone passes you they're generally not going that much faster than you. On the bright side, neither Maria or I have had anyone yell out a window yet. The people seem to be more ambivalent about commuters than they are malicious toward them.

Car culture is huge here. Everything is built for cars, and there are cars everywhere. The first week we were here I rode to the mall to take care of a few things. The mall was like a hornets nest of cars driving every which way. Even the architecture is noticeably car centric. It is nearly impossible to find a pedestrian entrance to most large buildings. For example, the only entrances to the supermarket closest to our house, and to the mall are inside the parking garages.

Since I don't have a mountainbike here yet I haven't gone looking for any trails, but I have been doing a lot of hiking. There is really good hiking just barely out of town, and there is good bus service within a half a mile or so of a bunch of trailheads. I coupled doing some walking errands with a slighlty lengthened version of the Manoa Falls hike last week:

01/16/2009 Manoa Falls
Find more Hikes in Honolulu, Hawaii

I didn't have the GPS on the whole time, but I estimate that this ended up being about 8 miles of walking.

The next day Maria and I rode back up to the Manoa Falls trailhead to see if we could catch a glimpse of the HURT 100, that we heard about by chance on the Up In Alaska Blog. We saw a few runners at about the 50-60 mile mark. So Tim, when you come out you can run the course if you would like, it's about 2 miles from our faculty housing!

Yesterday we decided to hike up to the top of Mt. Olympus, one of the larger peaks on the range that separates the two sides of the island:

01/18/2009 Mt Olympus
Find more Hikes in Honolulu, Hawaii

It was a pretty tough hike, tougher than either of us were planning on I would say. We didn't run out of water or food, but we were both pretty beat by the time we got off the bus and I'm awfully sore today. The views from the peak were pretty awesome:

The "other side" of the island

Looking into the Diamond Head Crater

Looking down the ridge we climbed up, onto the city of Honolulu and the beach. Manoa Valley, where we will be living, is on the right

Radio got a lot more the same this week.

2008-12-11T12:30:00.001-06:00

Went to the live, final broadcast of the MPR morning show early this morning. It was a great show packed with really good music, the kind you rarely find on the radio anywhere. Thus ends the only "morning show" format radio I've ever heard that was bearable, and it was much more than bearable.

Additionally, the Mischke Broadcast was abruptly discontinued effective Saturday with no prior announcement. As far as I can tell Mischke was the only original thing to happen to AM radio within my lifetime. If I'm wrong, I'd appreciate someone steering me in the direction of whatever it is that I've been missing. I can only guess that KSTP had to make room for either more political commentary, or another sports talk show. Boy, you can never have enough of either of those two can you?

Mental Breakdown

2008-11-18T10:29:00.001-06:00

I've got a to do list a mile long, and to say the due date is firm would be a gross understatement.

My Personal Homie

2008-11-13T17:36:00.001-06:00

Went to the Homie this year. Got tired of waiting around and split as everyone was doing a million circles in the summit parkinglot. I went back the next day with my pug and decided to see if I could pick up the trail, I did and made a nice little beach ride out of it, then did it again the next weekend with some bikeshop crew

Marked as "road" on the GPS.

35E Bridge

Beach

Had to make a stop at Johns on the way home. I ate this

It was pretty enjoyable without all the standing around, although I probably would've felt all better once we finally got to the dirt.

Hilarious and Sad all at once

2008-10-20T14:36:00.001-05:00

Have a watch of this video lecture on suburban architecture: tcstreetsforpeople. You'll laugh and cry all at once.

Most useless product of 2009

2008-10-07T14:12:00.001-05:00

I think I've already discovered the most useless product of 2009, on a local message board. Maybe I'm being too harsh, seven full rotations of a screwdriver may be just the push those who can't manage two half turns of a wrench and one half turn of a wheel needed to experience the awkward, non-committal bliss of a flip flop hub. The overly complex and mostly unreadable website is also a very nice touch. Both pose a clumsy half solution to a problem that clearly does not exist.

Good Sign

2008-10-03T12:26:00.001-05:00

I rolled up to the Hamline/Cty B intersection last night around 6:30pm, to no less than three other cyclists waiting at the light. That's gotta be a good sign.

no work monday

2008-09-29T12:09:00.001-05:00

Went down to Redwing with The Good Bill O'Reilly yesterday for about two and a half hours of riding with some of the U kids. Then I made about a two hour ride out of picking a ride-to-work route out for a friend and extending it a bit back down the Gateway/Trout Brook and a touch o' Reservoir singletrack. Wisconsin stream trout season closes tomorrow. Nothing's getting done today.

2008-08-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

off to Hawaii tomorrow

[Posted with hblogger 2.0 http://www.normsoft.com/hblogger/]

Incompatibility FTW

2008-06-20T10:18:00.001-05:00

Toward the end of a marathon repair session spanning two days at the shop I ended up with an early 2000's GT cross bike in my stand. Very vague work order: "Adjust front derailleur, if you can't get the full gear range adjust so the lower ones work." Strange because it seemed that it was the rear derailleur that was out of whack with a super loose cable. Plus it was a double. Not much range with a double, it's either high or low. Well, the new employee checked this one in, maybe he hit the wrong check box. I decided to check the both of them. How long could this take? I get a few minutes in and things are not coming together well, so I do a bit of counting. 8 speed cassette, 9 speed STI shifter. Are you serious? I get a sinking feeling that this is somehow a shop screw up, as it was purchased here. I comment to a co-worker and check the short repair history we have on file. This problem has been noted before but not fixed? Very strange. A-train, the co-worker mentions something about when 9 speed was new, bikes shipping with 8 speed cassettes. Now I'm coming back. I barely remember this problem. I can't believe this bike left the shop like this. So I'm grasping for straws, this was sort of a shop screwup, but warranty an 8 year old bike from a manufacturer that's been bankrupt/sold a couple of times since this catastrophe? Good luck. So I try the long shot: Sheldon Brown's alternative cable routing for inter-compatibility of older Dura Ace parts. It worked perfectly from the moment I cinched down the bolt. I was shocked, and it was glorious.

Bit by a Fish

2008-06-12T14:11:00.001-05:00

Fishing a couple nights ago out on lake Josephine. I had waded out to about knee height in the water and was taking in a few small sunfish. Then a large something tried to take me in. I feel this chomp on my ankle, and man I was out of that lake so fast I hardly remember what happened. Whatever it was actually broke the skin and left me with a 1/4" x 1" scrape just above my ankle. I've been in a lot of lakes and never had anything like this happen to me before.

Weekend Off

2008-06-04T20:04:00.001-05:00

After a harsh midweek at the shop, including what may have been the densest customer I've dealt with, I was lucky enough to grab a day off Saturday and head up North. A weekend of camping, fishing, swimming in the St. Louis and generally tromping around in the woods at Jay Cooke state park with a bunch of good friends was just what the doctor ordered. Here's one of them in a tree:

You can tell how much fun I had by how sunburnt/scratched up and generally dirty my feet were when I got home:

A funny thing

2008-05-13T09:37:00.003-05:00

I saw a funny thing last Friday day while I was enjoying my soup outside the co-op. A pickup truck had parked quite illegaly. In fact, he must've been trying to maximize jackassery when he parked his vehicle. It was in a no parking zone, facing the wrong direction, blocking the oncoming bikelane and nowhere near the curb. All this, and with complete disregard for several completely legal open spots just across the street. I got the warm fuzzies all over when I saw that towtruck driver lift up the rear wheels. Supreme laziness doesn't always go unpunished.

big green and dumb

2008-05-05T13:34:00.001-05:00

On Saturday, after a lot of himming and hawing I bought myself a new tool. It's big, green and dumb. I threw it together that night and the next day went for a nice 80 or so mile jaunt. Tim told me there was no better way to test the fit of a new bike than the longest ride of the year. I can't believe how right he was. The bike was quite comfortable, and I have no fit-related discomfort today. I even finished the ride feeling quite strong, and briefly debated rounding it out for my first ever century. I did, however, wake up feeling hungover and I have yet to recover fully from that. Probably just dehydrated.

Fruita abbreviated

2008-05-01T12:38:00.003-05:00

Driving.
Ft. Collins.
Ben.
Treeline.
Fork Chatter.
Driving.
Moab.
Climbing.
Peanutbutter mud.
Cold.
Slickrock.
Fruita.
Hot Tomato.
Beers.
Loma.
Giant Burrito.
Beers.
Trout Fishing.
18 road.
Loma.
Shox Bikes.
Moore Fun.
Driving.
Oswald.
Driving.
Lost 8lbs

Three Days 'til Dirt

2008-04-14T10:28:00.001-05:00

Thursday morning I'm going to wake up at 5am and drive to Ft. Collins. A couple of days later it's on to Moab, and then the 140 mile dirt ride to Fruita. Am I as prepared as I ought to be? Probably not. Due to the uncooperative weather I havn't ridden a bike on dirt yet this year (although I did ride knobs about 60 miles yesterday). Is it still going to be a blast and a half? Ummm... yes.

Paul Thumbies, Part 2

2008-04-11T10:29:00.001-05:00

I bought another pair for my crosscheck. I'm now officially off 1980's technology and proudly into the early '90s

Art Crank

2008-04-03T12:43:00.001-05:00

I'll probably head on down to the Artcrank show on Saturday evening. Funny that this is probably about the only art show I've had a genuine interest in participating in and I can't seem to get myself into it. I even attempted to get information on entering just after last years. Oh, well. From what I hear they certainly don't have any shortage of entrants.

Blizzard Ride

2008-04-01T10:38:00.001-05:00

Took a ride through the Reservoir last night during the blizzard. The pug performed well.

First Tracks:

Up On the Ridge:

After hearing several branches snap under the weight of the wet snow, and a thunderclap I thought it best to move on.

Ummmm, Tim?

2008-04-01T09:22:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I will box Sugar up ship him off to his new home in the frozen land of Minnesota (where I'm sure he will feel right at home.) Tonight is our last night together.

Did you really?

Product Review: Paul Thumbies

2008-03-31T16:05:00.001-05:00

Normally I'm a SRAM guy, but when I built my Pugsley I couldn't turn down a pair of swap meet priced Shimano XTR derailleurs. I also picked up a budget pair of 8speed bar end shifters. It seemed like a perfect excuse to try out Paul's Thumbie Barcon flat-bar adapters. The retro-grouch in me couldn't wait.

At first glance they don't seem all that impressive, especially considering what they cost. But after I got them set up I started to come around. They're easily the most positive shifting Shimano compatible shifter I've ever used. And the friction front shifting was an added bonus, allowing me to use the bottom pull derailleur I bought without thinking as an acceptable top pull.

I don't know if I'd buy the clamps and a new pair of barcons at retail: as Tim put it, that's an awfully expensive way to get technology from the '80s. But they do work well.

Maximum Fendage

2008-03-31T13:52:00.001-05:00

Yesterday it was 50. Today there is already 2" of very wet snow on the ground. At least I'll be dryer on the Pug on the way home:

Road Ride

2008-03-31T13:48:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Maria and I headed out to ride to Lindstrom for a family function and back. i thought Lindstrom was about 35 miles away. We got a late start. Lindstrom is 50 miles away. We made it to the function, but I was exhausted. 50miles is the longest road ride I've done probably since road racing with the U 3 years ago. I've still never done a century. For a while I was feeling pretty good, and I thought this might be the day, but no dice. It was a beautiful day, with temps in the low 50's and we stopped at this historical marker:

We got a ride home and ate pizza and wings from Luce. It was a good day

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-03-25T17:02:00.001-05:00

Last night I broke my third boa lacing system cable. I'm taking these to a shoe repair shop and having velcro straps sewn on as soon as winter in convincingly over. Until then I'll keep cinching them down with toestraps.

The irony? Not a half hour before this one took a crap on me I was listening to a product rep talk about how great the Boa system is and how few problems they've had with it.

3.14

2008-03-14T09:08:00.001-05:00

Happy Pi Day!

Speed City

2008-03-13T14:30:00.001-05:00

Switched out the Dh tires on the xtracycle for some Schwalbe Big Apple 2.35s. Increased my average speed from 8mph to 74mph on the way home from work.

Took the knobby 45's off the crosscheck for my 38c contacts, smooth sailing all the way to Hudson this morning.

Spring is here. Giddy up.

I can't believe this still surprises people

2008-03-11T11:26:00.001-05:00

From front and center of Startribune.com today: Gas Prices Rise to New National Record.

"I've got to say, if they ever go up to $3.50, that would be the point where I'd feel angry," said Alex Magby, a Morrisville, Pa., resident who was gassing up near his New Jersey restaurant job one recent afternoon. "I'd feel cheated at that point."

IF it goes up to $3.50? What on earth makes people so delusional as to think that it won't?

A Good Read

2008-03-10T16:40:00.001-05:00

Came across this on I Bike MPLS, a blog I became aquainted with through Google Reader's reccommended feeds. If you're looking to take in a hissy fit click through to the comments section

I've got a fever of 103

2008-03-03T13:06:00.001-06:00

And it's not as glamorous as Bon Jovi makes it sound. I've spend the better part of the last 48 hours in a horizontal position slamming water, Gatorade and Tylenol trying to make this go away. It's starting to subside I think, but I still feel like crap. My fever has been down below 100 a couple times at least. Maybe last Sunday's ride was a bit too much to jump right into. Going from riding an hour inside to five outside in one step might not have been the best idea. Looks like the all afternoon Pugsley slog fest planned for tomorrow isn't going to happen. I think today is the second time in my career at the shop that I've called in sick. Not bad for going on 6 years I think.

Gone Fishin'

2008-02-15T09:19:00.001-06:00

Snowball's Chance

2008-02-08T15:28:00.000-06:00

Don't forget to go to the Snowball's Chance in Hell tomorrow. Unfortunately I will be working so the Rollo won't get to dominate the figure 8 course

Luminary Loppet

2008-02-05T10:28:00.000-06:00

This weekend I opted out of Stuporbowl 11 for a day of work and skiing. Paul got me and Maria some comp tickets to do the Luminary Loppet in uptown. Paul pulls a lot of weight around there, cause he makes all the snow. The photo's aren't great, but I think pretty solid for 2 hours after sunset with a point and shoot digi cam. I've been carrying Maria's little Canon Powershot. Not quite as nice as my D50, but a hell of a lot easier to carry, and less expensive to replace should I fall on it.

Super Sciency Cold Weather Lube Test

2008-02-05T10:19:00.000-06:00

Last week a collegue who's name starts with a T and ends with an IM advised me to rebuild my shimano freehub body with Phil Tenacious oil after I mentioned that it had frozen up once on the way to work. I mad a lockring tool on the grinder and followed the instructions over at Icebike.org. Fast forward to today, the temperature upon my departure for the shop was -14F with a windchill of -37F. My freehub body was so sticky I had to walk halfway to work, and didn't dare coast once I finally got it to catch.

I've decided to take advantage of the temperatures and test some different lubricants for freezing point.

Procedure:

I've dumped or dolloped 9 different lubricants onto two metal plates. One will remain inside, the second will sit on the top of the bikeshop dumpster, starting at a temperature of -14,F with a windchill of -37F.

I will check the lubes against the control once an hour to see which stay least viscous, by poking them with a metal pick, or my finger. Very professional, I know.

The Lubricants:

Finishline Teflon Grease:

The standard grease we use in the shop, fairly lightweight, white in color. Seems to work ok on most bearings. I'm generally not too impressed with this grease, it seems to separate easily, and becomes runny in the presence of even the slightest amount of solvent.

Park Polylube 1000:

Green in color, thicker than Finishline Teflon. Seems to be more waterproof/solvent proof, and long lasting. This is what I use when it really counts.

Mag-1 Lithium Grease:

Recommended on the icebike.org freehub rebuild article. Consistancy somewhere between Park and Finishline greases. Vomit colored.

Pedros Chanj Chainlube:

Environmentaly friendly chainlube made without petroleum, for hippies. Seems to work ok during the summer, but a little bit dirty. I dont' have much firsthand experience with it.

Tri Flo:

Smells like bananas. An effective, but absolutely filthy chainlube. Great for squeaky doorhinges. Good all around lubricant/penetrating oil (think: Liquid Wrench substitute).

Finishline Cross Country Lube:

My standby wet weather, long lasting chainlube. Pretty thick, extremely dirty, and fairly long lasting.

Finishline Teflon + Chainlube:

My standby summer/dry weather lube. Works well, fairly clean but needs to be applied often.

Finishline Pro Road Ceramic chainlube:

Extremely dirty, I dont know what this is REALLY meant for, but I certainly wouldn't be putting it on my road bike if I had one. I had to re-do a drive train clean once after accidentally grabbing this bottle instead of the Teflon +. Will turn your entire drive train black in an instant. Tim's has had good luck with this as a winter lube.

Phil Tenacious oil:

Super thick, sticky oil. Magical properties that make it almost invincible. The only oil I would accept as a grease substitute in certain circumstances.

The Test:

Hour 1:

The temperature is now -6F, windchill of -26F.

All three of the greases have gelled. The park grease is the hardest, and is approaching rock consistancy quite quickly. The Finishline teflon grease seems to be doing the best. The cross country is also beginning to get pretty thick. The teflon + actually appears to have ice crystals in it. The Phil Oil is very thick. The marks left in it with the pick are staying visible in the pool of oil. The rest of the chainlubes are have no noticeable changes.

Hour 2:

Temperature: -6F, -23F windchill.

No noticeable changes, except that the Finishline Pro Road Ceramic has begun to gel.

Hour 3:

No changes.

Conclusion:

Much to my surprise the most freeze resistant grease seems to be the Finishline Teflon grease. The Park Polylube seems to be pretty much worthless below zero, unfortunate because this seems to be one of the more waterproof greases I've found. I'm also suprized that the icebike editors have had good luck with the Mag-1, it doesn't seem much better than the Park. Perhaps it softens up quickly with movement. It is, however, less viscous than the Phil Oil. It appears that almost any of these lubes would be more desireable than the Tenacious Oil below freezing. The stuff is great in the summer, really waterproof, but below zero it goes down for the count quickly. I'll be rebuilding my freehub body again using the Finishline Teflon Grease on the pawls, and probably the Mag-1 on the bearings (a thicker grease is necessary to get the 50 1/8” bearings to stay in place while sliding the outer cover over the pawls). I'm guessing the Mag-1 may be a superior in it's water resistance. Perhaps another test...

Walking

2008-02-03T16:47:00.000-06:00

I've been doing a lot of walking lately. Today I flatted at Dale St. Without a tube. I am an idiot. Furthermore, I realized I've been riding my xtracycle without a tube since I chaged the wheels. A month and a half ago. Double idiot.

The commute

2008-01-30T11:55:00.000-06:00

Picture's week old, but it turned out about the same today.

Too Cold to Shower

2008-01-18T15:58:00.000-06:00

I got a ride to work today, it's damn cold out. But that doesn't stop the neighbors upstairs from leaving the outside door wide open all day long, then wondering to us why their energy bill is so high. I was screaming a thousand reasons in my head (your success rate for turning off lights is about 60%, your success rate for closing doors is about 35%, energy prices may be up as much as 20% over last year, etc.) but didn't have the gumption to say any of them. They seem too obvious to point out. At first I thought they might be exceptionally dumb, but then I realized they seem pretty average on the outside. Both have jobs, things like that. I think dumb might just be the new average in America.

I've been thinking a lot about buying a torch lately. I'd like to be able to start making some simple modifications to frames and stuff, a braze on here and there for starts. I figure I can find all the practice tubing I could want in the dumpster behind the shop. It seems like the next logical step. A torch is one of the ultimate tools, right up there with metal lathes and chainsaws. Too bad they're so spendy, the guy I talked to at Oxygen Service Co priced it out at almost $700 (over if you include 7% sales tax. That shiny new stadium will be worth it! Drink the ball sports kool-aid!) Maybe I'll take the plunge with the cash from my road bike, which I just sold.

I hereby declare it too cold to shower, until further notice. I needs them oils to stay warm.

Another Swap in the Books

2008-01-14T10:19:00.000-06:00

Tally that down as successful. King Headset, some old XT 4 piston brakes and a couple of my favorite, but now unavailable WTB mountain saddles to re-round-out the El Mariachi. Let a Paul Flatbed get away from me at $40 (what was I thinking) but otherwise a great success. A weekend with good friends is always just what the doctor ordered. We counted em up and for me and Screech this was the 5th consecutive year (6 for him), still never gets old.

2008-01-04T14:34:00.000-06:00

If I hear one more news lead-in about britney spears or the iowa caucas today I'm likely going to vomit.

Kansas City Cross Natz, special ncccccccc edition

2007-12-17T12:09:00.000-06:00

Just got back from KC cross nationals with Maria and Mike from UMD. Nothing really bad happened even though we were in Kansas. I guess we weren't that far in just across the border. I could feel a strange force pulling from the Fort Riley area however.
The course looked pretty rough, very rutted, and it looked like for a majority of sections there was really only one navigable line, which caused all the fields to string out almost instantaneously. Man, I love watching cross races. Watching cross races makes me want to end my three year taper and start lifting, and get on a trainer and kick some ass. It's strange to me that that's the race that makes me want to get a little bit serious again. It looked like a whole lot of hurt during the collegiate mens race:

Then about an hour later it looked like hurt, plus greasy mud during the women's elite race:

The mens elite race looked about like the elite women's, but faster and plus a couple notches on the mud factor:
These guys were there:
There is a fabulous prize for whomever can name these two former/current ncccccccccc racers, except for Maria, because she already knows. Hint: both were/are K State riders:

Good Luck!

Major Wirth Rant

2007-12-13T12:43:00.000-06:00

Last night the MPRB approved a new budget which requires users of the Wirth MTB trail to pay an annual user fee. You can read all about it here and here, and here if you really want to. I was working during both of the meetings, but I'm not going to make excuses. I probably wouldn't have gone anyways. I've always been rubbed a little bit the wrong way by the morc organization and the people in it. Ever since they finished the first loop there and shut down all the old stuff I've felt pretty helpless about the whole situation. I've never been a paying member, and I doubt that I ever will be. I'm just waiting for someone to blame this on a lack of membership, volunteer hours, etc, etc, because NONE of that would have made the smallest difference. Sounds like the MPRB tried to sneak this one in at the last minute without anyone knowing.

Doing away with all the good trail and building dumbed down official trails to placate the MPRB, and gain political ground doesn't sound like that great an idea now, does it?

Coming around

2007-12-13T12:34:00.000-06:00

Two days in a row, I've gotten unsolicited friendly gestures from motorists on the ride to work. Yesterday a thumbs up at Larpenteur and Victoria and today a wave at Victoria and Roselawn. I think people are finally coming around.

My favorite graffiti

2007-12-07T16:57:00.001-06:00

I've been riding past this graffiti for a long time, and I finally took a picture of it on my way to the HFF. Now I'm finally immortalizing it in a blog post for the whole world to see.

Energy Park and Raymond.

I can't help but chuckle every time I see it. I'd like to know the story behind that single blue line.

Portland Hot 'Cross Action

2007-12-02T18:51:00.001-06:00

Saturday's race was a trip. I used the pit pass, mostly to see what it was like in there. I only had one wheel and a 5mm allen key to offer if there was any trouble. I wasn't going to be fixing much of anything if there turned out to be a problem. So there were two spots to come into the pit. It was raining, and real muddy. All these ladies were flying into the pit, and grabbing new bikes every couple laps. Upon exiting several of them would either fall down or careen into the snow fence. There was a lot going on. I was following Maria, back and forth on both sides of the pit, you know incase she needed on wheel or a 5mm allen key. Back and forth, back and forth. Hey, is that Gary Fisher standing right next to me in a trench coat that makes him look the angel of death? Cant be... Must be... No one else wears glasses like that.

It didn't stop raining for Sunday, and it got even muddier. I opted not to hang in the pit, since we still only had a rear wheel and a 5mm allen key. Plus I wanted to get some pictures. The course was getting ridiculous. Waterholes up past the hubs. I wandered the tents for a while, ran into The Original. He gave me a Guiness, and then I shot a bunch of pictures. It was a good day.

Sideburnz

Hey you Guyyyyyyys!

2007-12-02T17:55:00.001-06:00

Goonies never say die.

Working Hard

2007-11-27T15:09:00.000-06:00

Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

Working hard today, can't you tell?

Wirth

2007-11-27T10:10:00.000-06:00

Couple laps at Wirth last night. After the warmup me and The Devil put in what was certainly my fastest Wirth night lap, and quite possibly my fastest lap ever. I didnt think I could ride fast enough to make myself feel sick at night. I guess I can.

Eccentric BB seems to keep loosening up, as does the left hand crank arm on the new bike. You'd think at an $850 retail frameset they'd have worked that BB issue out.

Helped a guy with a broken chain waiting for the crew (Screech and The Devil) . Turns out he gave me a ride home from Battle Creek during a severe weather event. I returned the favor by lending a chain tool. Then he asks me if I'm a morc member. How come every time someone asks me that I get the same feeling I do when I pick up for a telemarketer?

Cake Turd

2007-11-25T11:04:00.001-06:00

2007-11-14T09:36:00.001-06:00

It's almost time for unicycle practice! Wednesdays starting at 10am!

A bib-tight prison

2007-11-09T10:02:00.001-06:00

Went for a 3 hour night ride last night with a former shop employee. We were headed to Ft. Snelling, I figured it'd be fairly relaxed so I had a couple beers with dinner and suited up. Wind proof bib tights and all. About a half hour in I had to pee, but I figure I'll wait till we get to the woods. An hour in were at the woods, I still have to pee, and I realize that I'm trapped. My little sideburnz isn't getting out over the top or through the leg without first stripping all three of my top layers. I eventually made it all the way home, but I was feeling an awful lot like Doug MacKenzie by the time I got through the door. Oh, sweet release!

Screen Writers Guild on Strike

2007-11-05T12:54:00.001-06:00

In several news spots playing like an audio version of The Onion I learned that the lovely and talented "artists" that brought us such wonderful pictures as "Wedding Crashers" are on strike. Oh, whatever am I to do without a new version of the same movie to watch every other month?

Priorities

2007-10-25T12:32:00.000-05:00

52 degrees? New bike with big kid wheels?

Fuck work, I'll be at Battle Creek.

Quarterly report

2007-10-16T08:12:00.000-05:00

Worth a read.

On Sunday I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, then went to the Ax Man. I felt like I was on drugs for the rest of the day.

2007-07-26T09:02:00.000-05:00

I'm still moving. I thought I had to have gotten everything out of the hallway, but when I went to help Steve clean his crap out on Tuesday I kept finding things that were mine. Then we got tired and went to the Otter. While we were there the dude sitting next to us dropped his wedding ring, and everyone in the bar spent a full ten minutes looking for it on the floor. I imagine it would have been a pretty hilarious scene to happen upon. I got a kick out of it for sure. Finally Steve stepped on it, and we got our pitcher paid for. Bonus!

Random Xtracycle load: Yard rake, pushbroom and an 11' section of aluminum tubing. It's all in a day's work.

Coffee Shop

2007-07-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

Since I do not have access to the intraweb from my home base I've been spending a lot of time at the Coffee Grounds, and I've come across some interesting phenomenon.

First, I sit down, and pop out my computor which is covered with bike stickers, and I'm wearing a CRC shirt, and I notice that the guy next to me is rocking a killer set of waterproof panniers. So what do I do, I feel like I ought to talk to him, you know, nice bags. Because we're both obviously riding to work. But at the same time we're kindof in Suburbia. Is that out of line, or is he gonna be like "What?" What?

Second: Like I says, the Coffee Grounds is kindof on the border of suburbia, and while it is one of my very favorite coffee stops, it is sometimes infiltrated by the SHW (Suburban house wife). There's a flock sitting right next to me, and from what I gather it's their "Coffee Wednesday." Now I've only heard a couple things inbetween all the celebrity talk in the last 45 minutes. One was about The View, and the "new colored gal that's on there." Two: "It's $600 a night, and Bob was so pissed at me, he said 'Can't you just stay in a motel 6?' And I told him I don't do that."

Good Luck,
Sideburnz

2007-07-12T20:37:00.000-05:00

I'm at the java train and these kids (or maybe parents) are making me crazy. But I gotta get these two I got by email out there. Seperate emails you know:

Maria

Kenwood

2007-07-11T08:57:00.000-05:00

So the lack of blogs. A week ago I moved into a new joint that doesn't have "borrowable" internet. And as of 4 days ago no longer has free cable either. However, I managed to cut the case of my old laptop open with an x-acto knife and solder the power cord directly to the mother board. SHAZAMMM!!! And now I have the internet as long as I'm at a coffee shop (and the computor is plugged in). It works perfectly except that it turns off immediately upon unplugging from the wall, and the time is never right no matter how many times I set it. Small trade offs for the resurrection of a formerly lost laptop.

So I leave for Helsinki to meet Maria in about 3 weeks or so, hopefully with the xtracycle. The plan is basically to de-board the plane in Helsinki, put my xtracycle together on the lawn of the airport and start riding toward Sweden. Man are there a lot of ways that could go wrong. I'm fairly confident it will work out though. I've been stopping and fixing peoples flats when I happen upon them on the greenway. I figure I can use all the good karma I can get.

So now I live in St Paul, its almost in the burbs, like only an 8 minute ride to the bike shop, and about 15 to the sign shop. I'm going to get real fat only riding 4 miles a day. So I went for a run the other day with Tim from the shop, I didn't even get sore except for a blister on one of my little toes, and the spot where my fat legs legs rubbed together. Man I'm already getting fatter. I'm going to have to buy some body glide or something.

Sideburnz

2007-06-15T11:03:00.000-05:00

So I finally resurrected the xtracycle from its sad sad winter state with a new horn, chain, cassette and shifter. This was all planned, as I basically hadn't done any maintenance for over 2000 miles. What wasn't planned were two seriously cracked 105 cranks. Snap. Literally. So lots of money and a set of instock FSA gossamer compact double cranks later we're back in business.

Speaking of compact double, I put a set of these on a bike last week. The two hardest things were finding the english directions to figure out where the paperclip looking piece went and getting the crankbolt to 40 newton meters. 40 newton meters is like car tight, It's about half way up a 1/2" drive torque wrench. Ultra Torque is right. Yowza.

The Kona, Rollo, Straight 8 are still broken, the Marin still sucks, and I want to sell my road bike. It's xtracycle or nothing.

So I was riding to work last week and thinking about what seems to me to be the great American irony: we have such an energy crisis when it comes to heat, and transportation but we have an abundance of super fat people who essentially have an excess of energy. We need to stop working on hybrid cars and start working on cars that burn people fat. I wonder if any of that whale fat technology is still around.

Sideburnz

Memorial Day

2007-05-30T08:23:00.000-05:00

So what a memorial day, me and Maria start it out with a 20 mile tandem ride, breakfast at the neighborhood cafe and explored some parks in the stp that we don't usually get to. Then we came home about noon, and I was like "It's gettin hot in herrre and I have the perfect beer for today in the fridge." (Breckenridge Summerbright Ale). Its a perfect lawnmower beer as Maria says, light and cold. So I had three of them and got real tired before we went to Murphy Hanrehan.
"Hey Hanrehan! Suzanne sucks pussy! hey, Hanrehan! She's a dyke! I know! I Know! A lesbian! A lesbian! " Thats all I could think about while we were there. If you know what movie that is you really score some points.

So yesterday I had to stop and change clothes three times on my half hour commute. I put my coat on when it started to shower, then my pants when it really started to rain 5 minutes later, and finally when the sun came back out another five minutes later and my damp denim shorts inside of plastic rain pants turned the environment inside my pants into an odd mixture of sauna and terrarium. Sometimes you just can't win.

Sideburnz

Profundity

2007-05-24T10:59:00.000-05:00

Hose clamps are the rich man's zip tie.

2007-05-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

So not a whole lot going on so I'll catch up on a couple things I've been meaning to get to but have forgotten when it really counts:

1. Somehow I've gotten signed up for the runner's world email list. I can't imagine how this happened, but if you've ever seen me run you know their advertising isn't hitting the target audience. I think Maria once said something along the lines of "Yeah I don't get it, you are pretty fit, but you just look super heavy when you run." A runner I'm not.

2. When did all country singers turn into a bunch of Pussies? Seriously "she's a want a piece of chocolate." "she's a saturn with a sunroof."? Well you're I just threw up on my shoes. I guess the alternative is Bumbling Redneck Idiot. Which is really just as bad. These colors don't run. i should make a bumper sticker that says "These Colours Don't Run." Ha! I think I actually want to like country music but the singers are making it impossible. Johnny Cash would kick Toby Keith's ass and then tell Brad Paisly to harden the fuck up.

3. Hammocks. They're sweet

4. I guess they're bringing Fat Tire up here. Syrdicks already has a sign in the window. Hopefully they bring the sunshine wheat, that's a better beer anyhow.

Sideburnz

Backwards is the New Forwards

2007-05-20T09:05:00.000-05:00

Buck hill was backwards this week. It went way, way better mostly because the section of trail cutting across the ski hill was all false flat down, instead of false flat up. Much less demoralizing, it actually feels like you're getting somewhere. So I got stuck behind a pileup at the start and right away I was playing catchup, which was much easier on the short steep climbs you can carry momentum into when you go backwards. I was catching a lot of people, and I was catching them fast. Caught the Devil about 1/4 of the way through lap two and kept on motoring. Then I see a couple of loon staters up ahead and I get on the gas again. Looks like I'm gaining pretty quick on the two short open climbs. Get to the top of the second one, and I'm like "I have to throw up." Pull over, have a good 3 or 4 dry heaves and I'm back on the bike. That kind of broke my rhythm, and I never really recovered fully, didn't catch as many as I was hoping. Had about one of the closest finishes with the guy in front of me I've had at buck. I didn't have quite enough space to catch him in the sprint, and I couldn't believe I couldn't catch him in the woods before the finish, but he was rocking. Like Tink said, I should've had the bike throw. That might have gotten me the win. Anyways, just as fun this week. Way better time racing, I think mostly due to eating halfway decent all of Thursday.

So I've been noticing a strange phenomenon lately. I'm taking all kinds of customers and phone calls who are like "I can't find a pump to get my tubulars up to 200psi." And I've stopped trying to explain this to people because it's a losing battle every time, but in my head I have to be like "Why in the hell would you want to do that?" Even on the track that just seems absurd. I'm no trackie, but my guess is that most anyone would have a hell of a time telling the difference between 130psi and 200psi. Besides, it just seems like a bad idea regardless of whether you're riding tubulars or not. Just because it says on the sidewall good to 200psi doesn't mean you have to ride at 200psi every time, or even that 200psi is a good tire pressure to ride at.

Maybe if you had one of these. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

The track sucks, go to buck hill instead.
Sideburnz

Buck Hill

2007-05-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

First World Famous Buck Hill last night. Instead of a recap I think I'll just write a few things I learned:

1. 180 cranks don't make you go faster. they make you not able to pedal around corners
2. the whatever x whatever gear I have on my marin is too big for my fat ass at this moment.
3. go fast at the beginning or you'll be stuck behind a bunch of people in the woods. ( i've been learining this constantly for like the last 5 years, but it seems like i forget every week. maybe if i write it down...)
4. small block 8s are not good in sand. or on gravel fire roads.
5. it s still painfully slow to cut across the ski hill twice every lap.
6. you should't eat tacos and iced cream at 2:30pm if you want to race well.
7. you can't fix a king headset by letting it sit all winter.
8. upsidedown stems DO make you faster.
9. there might be such a thing as a handlebar that's too wide
10. none of that other crap matters because its still buck hill, and the people are 100x more fun than you'd ever find at any road race. and who cares as long as you have fun right?

screech, i'm impressed by your blogging. keep up the good work
sideburnz

Race Day

2007-05-08T23:36:00.002-05:00

So me and the devil and maria decided to go up to Elk River for a mtb race on saturday. I took the day off from the shop, and got out the new shoes. Of course it rained. and when i say it rained i mean it poured like crazy. I was off the back from the start since 34x18 isn't the greatest gear for a 1/4mile road rollout. plus i may have still been all full of fat tire hangover from the night before. maybe that annual norba expert license wasn't the best choice i've ever made. so i got shelled off the back immediately, thoroughly soaked my brand new shoes, burned through a set of brake pads in a lap and a half and had to dnf after i started finding metal shavings where my brake pads should've been. i thought about flipping the wheel and riding fixxed, but i didn't have a lockring on. maria did, so she rode about 2.5 laps fixxed and brakeless and still won the women's field by like 5 minutes. and that's why my girlfriend is more badass than you .... and me.

so it looks like i'm probaly moving out of the traincar july first or there abouts, i've only been staying there like 2 nights a week anyhow. i figure its about that time. yep.

niner niner zooloo

2007-04-30T23:10:00.000-05:00

The last week's been a blur. I think it went something like this: Bike shop bikeshop, driving driving driving, single track single track single track singletrack with lots of rocks uphill singletrack, driving, singletrack, coffee with old friends, driving driving driving, bike shop bikeshop.

Yowza. Fruita 1 track is sweet. I don't know how much longer i'm going to be able to put up with the trails here. Wirth is getting freight train wide in some spots, nevermind the rest of the blandness. plus fruita's got the hot tomato! met up with a slightly smaller kenwood crew for some reminiscing there on wednesday night and had a lot of $1 new belgium pints. the disco ball was back up. Consequently I didn't pay for a single beer. I owe someone a lot of beers. That's about all I can recall of the trip at the moment, it was a quick one this year. hope to be back for next. Seems like I shouldn't even try to describe the riding, as i just wouldn't do it justice. i've got some pictures that'll maybe make it up on the next post.

So we also picked up a smattering of CO beers including a car-barrel of fattire that's getting tapped friday night round abouts 8pm. so if anyone wants in on that let me know. Maria's house, rsvp if you need the directions.

i also finally broke down and replaced the $75 retail specialized mtn shoes i got for free, and i've been riding since i can remember. the soles were falling apart, and the top straps were starting to tear near the hooks. i dont think i've ever bought a pair non-walkable mountain shoes before. I decided to go all out and get the highest end shimano heat moldable shoe. you know, so my skinny ass feet would fit better. i havn't ridden them yet, but i baked em up on sunday and they seem like they're fitting pretty good. they better for a retail tag of $350. Luckily the cost price is significanly lower than normal. they must pad that for the labor of bakin em.

Oh yeah, i also cought a few trout with the new flyrod at the lake at the campground. that was an excellent way to unwind after a long day of singletrack.

i'm not sure if any of that was really coherent, i think i'm still recovering from the trip. sleep pattern's all fucked up still. whatever, screech'll probably at least be able to decipher it.

one pretty sweet addition to the link column: bikely. it's pretty sweet, tim from the shop showed it to me.

steve and timmy: you're off the list, screech: you're on notice.

sideburnz out

better day

2007-04-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

A decidedly better start to the day. I've got the check card fiasco all but under wraps, every single one of my 36 test tiles that I just took out of the kiln room look great, and I'm rocking The Clash: London Calling on vinyl before my ride to work.

Sideburnz

A post tax day salute to government

2007-04-18T08:16:00.000-05:00

I'd write a parody 1040 form, but I don't think I could make it any more convoluted and silly than the real thing. Just pick one up at the library and pretend you read it here.

Still Sick

2007-04-12T20:01:00.000-05:00

i'm still sick, but i'm feeling much better although getting pretty bored. you can only watch so many lifetime movies. so today i built a wireless full handset for my new cell phone out of a bluetooth headset and an old touch tone phone. it's pretty badass. i added some links where i got the idea and some direction from:

www.i-hacked.com
www.hackaday.com
www.makezine.com
www.instructables.com

i have squandered lots of time on those four websites, and i'm sure i've hardly even begun.

also, i forgot that last week me and maria and ed went mini golfing. it was tons of fun, plus i won. i'm calling you two out: rematch, time and place tbd. if i was at home/not so lazy i'd scan the scorecard for proof. i'd probably take a picture of my phone too. when we were playing mini golf we got the idea that once it doesn't suck outside anymore we should all dress up in goofy pants, sweater vests and play minigolf outside at como. you know, because golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass: name that movie for 5 sideburnz points!

i guess being sick is good for blogging anyhow.

i almost forgot: steve and timmy, you're on notice. if i dont see a new blog pretty soon i'm takin you two down.

Dude, lame.

2007-04-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

Woke up yesterday and signed on to the wellsfargo to make sure my stud loan payment cleared when i noticed something weird. A Starbucks charge? I don't go to starsucks. Miami Floria? I've never been to Miami Florida. LAME! So I had to cancel my check card. yesterday I had only lost about $30, but now this morning we're getting closer to $70 while all the card machines catch up on the reporting. One of the questions they ask you when you report fraud is "will you be willing to prosecute if the person is caught?' I was like hells yea bitches. Its only $30, but $30 is $30 and that was my $30.

And to add to the lameness I guess I'm getting sick. The freezing ass rain on the ride home from the twins game last night must have done it. I was freezing all night, and woke up with a fever and a headache. lame.

I think that if I have to see or hear about anna nicole smith on the news for one more second i'm going to go absofuckinglutely crazy. its no wonder this country is going to hell when some washed up half celebrity's death qualifys as newsworthy for over a month. I want to kick nancy grace in the nuts almost more than bill oreilly (the bad one). the worst part is its not just the half news infotainment shows. like cnn and msnbc are still talking about this. don't you think there are more important things to talk about? man americans are stupid.

the weather isn't helping things either. ground's covered with snow here. i want to kick the weather in the nuts.

man, i was feeling alright there until i started writing down all the crappy crap that's happened in the last couple days. now i'm one pissed off sideburnz.

t-11 days to fruita departure (roughly) so i got that going for me i guess.

2007-03-26T11:27:00.000-05:00

Glad to hear Screech is coming up next weekend, I didn't travel to Milwaukee for st pat's, but I did get some other stuff done and work at the shop. so it goes. screech, you should definately bring the bikes.

i'm announcing a Friday Night Bar/Greenway Ride, weather permitting, time, location and theme TBA. so, mark your calandar, and cancel all dates.

The other day my trusty US Postal ERA saddle that screech gave me the first year we went to tucson took a shit on me. it's been on at least three different bikes, and the xtracycle finally did it in. one of the rails broke in half and fell off. so i had to buy a seat so i could get home. the only answer unless I wanted a ladies comfort saddle was a brooks b-17 narrow. i bolted it on and OUCH! it's starting to get a little softer, and i ordered some of them oils for it. I think it will turn out ok. man am i getting old and grumpy. i dont even know where to go after the brooks. i'll probably have to get a three speed or some bar end shifters.

the other day on my way to the shop i saw a lady drive her minivan to drop her kid off at the elementary school that was literally around the corner, and not more than 1/2 a block away. man, that's a lazy for you. as chopper says: "harden the fuck up!"

speaking of fuck, i just watched the documentary of the same name. it was pretty interesting, it got me pretty fired up, especially hearing what dennis prager and michael medved had to say about how that word was going to be the undoing of society. give me a fuckin break. ha! i just undid a little bit of their conservative society right there!

Sideburnz out

4 Hummer Pile Up

2007-03-10T19:31:00.000-06:00

So I'm leisurely riding to work today over the swirly bridge when I glance south onto 35W. I see a trooper so I'm thinking action. past the trooper were no less than four hummers that had managed somehow to crash into each other. I couldn't believe my eyes so I rushed home to grab my camera. Laughing the whole way to my apartment, back to 35W and all the way to the bike shop.

Even a picture of one hummer on a tow truck would probably have been enough to get me back to my apartment to get a camera, but this was too much

on another note, me and Paul are thinking about setting up a bbbbbbbbbar ride (bar ride of bars starting with b) so we're on the thrifty hipster which is basically a happy hour database for the twin cities which lists bars by location. so we're checking out university area, northeast, uptown and paul goes "where's glbt? HA! he figured it out after clicking.

The Short Bus Master Plan

2007-03-08T22:26:00.000-06:00

for a while i've been thinking about getting out of Minnesota. I've never lived anywhere else, and while I like it here, I really have nothing to compare it to. I definately like the people here, and it's pretty cool to be able to ride anywhere i need to be, or hop into 1on1 or the crc for a cup of coffee and some quality reading. but i think it was riding in fruita for a couple of days that really opened my eyes to what was maybe out there.

so i've decided that i should probably move to colorado for a couple months this summer. i figure i can save up some cash, be moved out of the hallway and not be paying rent in the cities and live out of friends houses and what ever vehicle i get myself down there in.

so my first plan was to aquire a vw bus. but i realized the're kind of spendy for what you get, plus they sound like a bitch to keep running. I like to tinker, but i dont know if i like to tinker that much. also, not much space for bikes and sleeping inside at the same time. The natural jump was to a cargo van. more space, more reliable, and easier to come by both in whole vehicles and in parts. so i thought that would be the route for a long time and i looked at lots of cargo vans on the internet, until I got an idea: a short bus! damn, if i got myself a short bus it'd be like an upgrade. i'm guessing that the short bus may actually have more square footage than the hallway i live in now. plus i can say "hi, my name is sideburnz, and i live in a short bus." a perfect fit if you ask me. after daydreaming for a while about this i went on the craigslist, and much to my surprise, there are short busses for sale in the area. and they aint even that expensive. most of them even have a hydroulic wheelchair lift. bonus!

so in conclusion, i think that in june i should move out of my hallway and into a short bus and drive to colorado for two months of nothing but camping, singletrack and fly fishing

the end.

Pooping Adventure

2007-02-27T19:35:00.000-06:00

So I dropped Maria off at work on Monday, and had a nelson's breakfast burrito and coffee. So when I left i had to poop, but just a little bit. I tried to drive to my house, but much to my dismay I couldn't park because of all the tow trucks swarming the neighborhood, and the 12 inches of snow. Plus I got stuck with the wagon once, and I didn't want to take any chances. So i went to park at Maria's house. By this time, I had to poop kind of a lot. when I got out of the car i realized i didn't have my keys. no problem, i thought. i'll just use the spare. well the spare was mighty hard to find under 12 inches of fresh snow. i shoveled until i was convinced that i had accidentally shoveled the key into the middle of the yard. now the poo poo situation was starting to become pretty immediate. i thought, maybe i can bump the lock. but i didn't have a key, or a file, nor have i ever even tried that before. i just read about it on the internet one time. that was out. so i decided to put on my skis that were in the car, and ski to my house. i figured that skiing would be a lot more fun than walking, and with any luck might save me some time. i got three blocks before i realized that i couldn't get into my house without my keys either. mmmm. so i skiied back and drove to roseville, and had a great poop.

Snowball's Chance

2007-02-23T18:22:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow the greatest cycling event of the year: the snowball's chance in hell (high noon, brownie lake). 4th or 5th year running for me. me and rollo can't wait for that slippy slick figure eight of death.

PICTURES:

Madison Swap:

Futbeer!

Ice Fishing:

Spatula Ball!

If you're into the drama there's a real shit storm brewing over the redbull skyway race over on the DORC boards. i knew there was a reason I didn't "apply" to race that again. Extremely cool idea, but too much bullshit involved. the snowball is more fun anyhow.

Back working at the shop a bit. Maybe that'll pull me out of this mid-winter funk. we'll see, hasn't worked yet.

Plastic jesus

2007-01-11T18:39:00.000-06:00

www.whitetreeaz.com/plastic_jesus/plasticj.htm

2007-01-04T08:34:00.000-06:00

Last weekend I read the book 1984 for the first time. The week before I watched a good movie about peak oil: The end of Suburbia. That combo's about enough to make you want to run for the hills, I feel like i'm going a little bit crazy.

Looks like I was right all along, not only are are all those loose chains on the track scary, scary, danger will robinson, they're also not fast: Research from a real university

The second factor that affected efficiency was tension in the chain. The higher the chain tension, Spicer says, the higher the efficiency score. "This is actually not in the direction you'd expect, based simply on friction," he says. "It's not clear to us at this time why this occurs."

So I'm back at the muffin study reading the Star Trib. and I come across this article about a new reality tv show. i figure it sounds so retarded i ought to read it. i found this little gem inside:

Understand that Muncie is a Rust Belt city that has suffered a lot of painful economic reality in the past 30 years. So the city's grasp for the proverbial 15 minutes of network TV fame -- and on a reality show -- has some worried that when the video editors separate the recorded wheat from the chaff, the chaff will get aired and the people of Muncie will look like idiots.
"They got too damn many reality shows on TV already. Besides, this isn't reality," said a grumpy Chet Skaggs, who was selling sweatshirts in a gravel parking lot next to a liquor store on the city's North Side.
"They just brought a bunch of dummies in from California. ... I think this is crazy," Skaggs added, giving voice to the more vociferous viewpoint in Muncie.

If that doesn't just paint a picture I don't know what does.

Muffin Study

2006-12-20T08:12:00.000-06:00

Fortunately I have the opportunity to participate in another fiber consuming study to the tune of nearly $400. And all I have to do is eat a muffin, then sit for three hours and record my hunger level. Three hours is a lot of time to sit, so I usually read the paper. Enter the excuse me flag, from this morning's Star Tribune article on germs:

The Excuse Me flag is a little yellow banner mounted on a lightweight pole, which is attached to one's waist via a belt and swings back and forth in front of the wearer during walking. The yellow flag reads "Excuse Me".

"It generates a cubic yard of free walking space between you and a sneezer," Beck, a former New Yorker, said from her home in Delaware. "It makes it so you don't have to touch anybody or talk to anybody in New York."

With a product description as insane and contact-o-phobic as that, how can you not google the product and have a look? Don't worry I'll save you the time: Yowza! If i was still compiling stupid lists this would definately make the top 10.

Remember when we were going to buy paintball guns for the fising trip, but they were too expensive/required too much safety equipment/maybe looked a little too realistic to be pointing at eachother in the middle of a lake? Problem Solved! On second thought, maybe that was just me. I knew blowguns would be perfect the minute I saw the one Paul brought home.

Went to Wirth on Thursday, it must've sprinkled a bit in the morning, as the bikepath was quite wet. The trail was just on the tacky side of perfect. Super duper fast, but not too wet to ride. The old (read: challenging) sections were hella greasy though.

New favorite show: Rob and Big on MTV. it's replaced Maury, and it aint even that trashy! I mean, you can only hear "you are not the father" so many times. But anyway, finally a reality show that embraces fallacy and is actually fun to watch. I think it's secretly a jab at the rest of mtvs existance. How could it be entertaining if it wasn't? At least the characters are entertaining and not a bunch of over dramatic fucking crybabys like every other mtv show.

i almost forgot. Yesterday me and tim from the bike shop towed dave's euro van to the repair shop with the extra cycle and tim's karate monkey. Pictures to follow.

Keep it real. If you lose the TV remote look in your coat hood.
Sideburnz

back on the horse

2006-12-11T10:45:00.000-06:00

First order of business: I was at Macy's about a month ago, and they had an ipod vending machine. No joke, in the store. You just swipe your card and pick out an ipod, which is dispensed below. Never seen anything like it before. I almost bought one, just to see how it worked.

Screech, i hear you might come up next weekend for mikey's going away party. you should, it would be an excellent opportunity to get together and plan the fishing trip. We need to get on that.

Third: MCVL. I ended up at the Hexagon on friday night, after Paul called me and I didn't want to go to bed. Go figure. We saw a sweet show of two college age white kids spouting old school hip hop. Like the sort of hip hop that is fun, and displays some lyrical sophistication instead of mumbling about jewelry and tacky dental accessories over and over and over and over. I would definately see that show again.

Bikeshop

2006-11-11T08:19:00.000-06:00

How come everytime I get a paycheck from the bikeshop I take it, then immediately write a check back for the total of my paycheck plus about $50? Now that's employee loyalty...or something.

2006-11-04T11:41:00.000-06:00

Things are lookin pretty good on the homefront. Me and steve cleaned our pad last week, and it's lookin pretty nice now. All we need is a shelf, and maybe a thermostat. Thursday night it felt like the inner ring of hell in that joint. It's pretty weird to have your window open when it's 15 degrees windchill outside.

Damn is my xtracycle sweet. i've been haulin all sorts of stuff including a full home stereo system, a couple of marias, a tim, lots of grocerys, sign posts and some 10 foot pieces of conduit. I gotta say i was skeptical, but i think i'm liking it better than the bob. the ax man special car horn conversion doesn't hurt either. Yep, you heard right, the xtracycle has been outfitted with a surplus car horn. that bitch is loud too. i horned some augsburg kids that were going to walk out in front of me last night, i think one of them almost pooped his pants.

screech, i hear what you're sayin about the ti. sometimes i wish i would've bought that frame too, but then i just remind myself how small it was. plus i think it was 1". That's what i'm telling myself anyways. and since when do you ride mountain bikes? You should drive up tonight and we can talk about it. But seriously, you should come visit again.

I think we should all ride to the borat movie tomorrow after the northfield cross race. its supposed to be nice. since i'm sure all of you, like me, are at the library reading blogs the saturday morning of homecoming weekend so i'll make some phone calls in addition to this notice.

My name is sideburnz and i approve this message.

2006-10-22T10:33:00.000-05:00

Looks like its time for my quarterly blog.

First off, congradulations to Steve on an excellent show last night. It was his best delivery I've seen to date. I was feeling pretty tired at first, but the show really helped me come around. I stayed out until after 1 and then watched cheaters when i got back to maria's house. i figured trying to sleep in my hallway could be pretty futile with a whiskey fueled steve liable to come home at all hours of the night. plus its closer to the corner bar. man, joey greco is a piece of shit. he's probably trashier than maury. i love it.

I gotta at least throw this out there once: were me and paul seriously the only ones to ride to the show last night? I'm not gonna dwell on this, but that's a pretty sad showing.

Secondly, Millwaukee. I really probably should have thrown in my 2 cents, but everyone else seemed to cover it pretty well by the time i got around to it. Whatever you heard its probably true.

3. Homie fall fest/the rollo is back. i bet there was like 200-300 people at the hobo camp. it was pretty sweet to be there before the party showed up and get some riding in. the rollo was in full effect with a 2.1:1 gear and some highly modified conti 2.3s gracing each end. i left early to try and get a nap in before the big show, but not after fulfilling my contractual obligations with rollo to leap at least one fire per year. You gotta keep the sponsors happy.

Better rustle up some grub and a newspaper.

Sideburnz

2006-09-18T08:31:00.000-05:00

First things first, new feature on the left side of your screen. I don't know if its just me, but I hear a lot of stupid shit. Shit that makes me go: "that might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard." So I decided to rank them, and make an all time stupidest thing I've ever heard list. It is a dynamic list, as I'm hearing stupider and stupider things all the time.

Rode the tandem at wirth yesterday. I guess tandems actually make that trail challenging. We only had one pannier casualty when me and maria got her leaned over too far. I guess you're not supposed to drag your knees on a tandem with panniers.

OK, the new old hot bar: The Big 10 on washington. Me and screech used to always go there after chappy meetings and get $1 PBRs, so I should've known to keep going there, but now they have Highlife on tap. And the regular price is $5.50 per pitcher. And from 3-6 on weekdays all pitchers are $2 off. That means that theoretically you could get a pitcher of highlife for $3.50: probably less than you would pay for the same amount of beer in a case of cans. I'm having my people in the math department work on that as we speak, I'll get back to yall. Regardless, it's less than you would regularly pay for a pint of something else at another crappier bar like Sgt Idiots, or The Town Crap Brewery on the west bank.

Steve's talking about getting a car. I think you should let him know that's a bad idea. You can do it right over here.

Sideburnz

2006-09-07T19:09:00.000-05:00

So yesterday i ate a taco bell cheesy rice and bean burrito, then my fiber, then another cheesy rice and bean. BIG MISTAKE. I almost screeched while I was on the floor helping some comfort bike customers.

you know what's nice about all the kids being back at skool? all the fat draft you can catch from the hoards of scooters on washington ave.

stayed at my traincar last night for the first time. it's not too bad. i just want to clear something up, it wasn't steve that smelled so much as the space he was living in. come on, we all know he doesn't smell worse than me.

2006-09-04T09:59:00.000-05:00

All done with the big move, yep living with F Steve now, sort of. i guess i havn't slept there yet, and most of my crap is still in boxes. I did, however open a window which has improved the smell greatly. We still need a garbage can.

also fresh back from the bwca. that's one way to make a happy sideburnz: put him in his natural element, pooping outside in the woods.

2006-07-24T21:38:00.000-05:00

so i get these new pair of shorts, and since i already have the same ones and i like the way they fit I get the same size. a 34. i take them home, and since they're the same size i immediatly rip all the tags off and put them on. they're not the same size.

they say 34, but they're hangin something like a 36, maybe even 38. they're huge. and now i'm wondering if lee dungarees fudged in order to to make fat people feel better about themselves.

that's the real problem with having a country where the majority is fat, they'll start skewing the numbers to make them feel better and now i can't go buy size 34 shorts anymore without trying them on because they're not really size 34. it's like a 2x4, its not really 2"x4" its something like 2"x3 1/2" and that's weak.

Here's something interesting you might find useful. I know i did, and i can't believe i didn't know about this sooner: FixMeUp!. Now I had to go and order a whole bunch of new stuff for the Marin. shucks.

Screech - dude, i bet milwaukee is weak. you can stay in steves halway with me. rent will only be like $150 a month and i promise i will put pants on when cara comes over. ok, maybe not pants, but i'll have something on.

dogs > people

2006-07-20T22:38:00.000-05:00

Lot going on since the last post:

Drunk, unlit ride at wirth

Sober, lit ride at wirth

Dumped the cross check hard, possible rib injury that kept me out of.......

last WFBH race of the year. I did however hang out for the free summit epa keg. thatswhatimsayin. took some pictures. it hurt me inside a little bit to not be riding...until i found out they were running the exact same course and there was a free keg.

How come dogs are so much more fun to be with than people? had a great time with some strange dog at buck, and a few awkward converstations with people i kind of know. weird.

i think some of us should start a new team. mtb/track only. we just need a bar sponsor, and i could maybe swith the shop sponsor. screech, get on it and while you're at it dont move to milwaukee

that's all i got
sideburnz

Wirth

2006-07-10T22:20:00.000-05:00

Rode Wirth tonight with Maria. We ran into Billy on the way over, and he tells us that there's still some old trail that they've been riding, and all the latest politics. I thought all that was off limits. WOW, really brings back the memories from when Wirth was pre-morc and actually had some challenging sections. I'm almost gettin all teary eyed thinking about riding Brownie, and the section across the cedar lake trail. From the news of late sounds like this isn't going to be there much longer, and will soon be 3ft wide and straight. It's so depressing...

RIP Brownie
RIP That one section by Cedar Lake
Long live the old Wirth!

Sideburnz

I like bikes

2006-07-06T22:47:00.000-05:00

I think i'm finally coming around and not being so crabby anymore. I had an excellent time at WFBH tonight, and I feel like i'm even actually getting a bit of leg speed back. Brap brap

Gas was $3.09 today in Roseville, if you're still driving everywhere you must be an idiot.

hell of a 4th, biscuits and gravy, rode with onk, simone and screech for about three hours and fell asleep flipping between the tour and world cup soccer. if that doesn't sound like time well spent i dont know what does

Maria's got a function at lebanon at 6, so I figure I'll hitch a ride down. probably leave about 5:15/5:30. Any takers? Mikey?

Rubber side down,
Sideburnz

2006-07-03T09:23:00.000-05:00

I'm guessing that after Maria's Saturday night, Sunday afternoon service at several local bike shops was a little slower than usual. Yeah, that's gonna happen sometimes. I know I was moving a little slower. I wasn't even bothering to tell people why their ideas wouldn't work, like racks with disc brakesm, or aero bars on a flat carbon bar. Usually that's my pleasure.

I actually started to feel pretty good once we had a lap under our belts at Lebanon. Probably because I wasn't wearing a shirt. So I decided to attack the group MTB ride. I got away. Then I got tired. I'm not sure if anyone even knew I was attacking, or what.

Hannah's house.

Sideburnz

Meet the Shitheads, on NBC

2006-06-18T10:02:00.000-05:00

So I'm watching Meet the Press, and Tim Russert has 3 oil CEOs/Presidents on for a panel discussion. The Shell president has got to be the biggest frickin shithead/yes man I've ever seen. Russert would ask him a question something like "Prices at the pump are higher than ever, its having a great effect on the budget and economy of the everyman. And yet your profits are shattering records. How do you square that?" You could see this guy trying to bite his lip and suppress the shit eating grin that was trying to pop onto his face. He'd give some bullshit answer about how they don't really make that much money, and its expensive to run an oil company. Then he'd go on to say how the problem really lies with supply, and how policy in this country is really stacked against the big oil companies because they aren't allowed to go tramping over every square inch of this country sniffing out oil for you, the consumer, so that prices will be lower. UNBELIEVABLE. At one point while discussing the prospect of dependancy on oil in the next 20-30 years he said something to the effect of "Our oil use will not be reduced in the next 20-30 years. Nor does it need to be. There is plenty of oil out there in this country and in others. We just need to change public policy so that we can go extract it." Wow.

2006-06-18T00:54:00.000-05:00

So I've been watching the craigslist, for motorcycles mostly. Not because I can afford to buy/insure a motorcycle, just for shits. I've noticed there are pretty much three types of ads:

1. For Sale: 30+ year old motorcycle. Runs great, I just tuned it up myself in my garage in North East Minneapolis. I am a great motorcycle mechanic, honest! I really need to sell this motorcycle this weekend. I will take any offer, as long as it is over $3,000. This is a really great motorcycle, it isn't old, it's a classic! Just like all 30+ year old Honda's this bike is appreaciating in value every day. I tuned it up myself! Please don't insult me with a reasonable offer, I will only respond to outrageous offers above $3,000.

2. Hi. I'm 18 and I have this big motocross bike. It hasn't been beaten at all, because I'm 18 and mature. Here's a picture of me taking care of it. Notice my crooked hat, I'm fasionable. i also have a pS2, xbox, mountain bike, and 1987 chevy pickup truck for trade. Looking for a really fast and late model year sport bike, even trade. laterz!!11!

3. I bought this classic British motorcycle 15 years ago and took it all the way apart immediately. now I have 3 kids and no time/space to keep this project. Everything is in this box and in great condition. it will be easy to put back together. All the parts are there, really. I'm 100% sure. $3,000 or best offor, as long as it is way more than this box of parts is actually worth.

Saw a bike that someone actually threaded the left pedal almost all the way into the right crank arm and vice versa. I didn't think that was physically possible, and I've been scratching my head all day trying to figure out how he pulled it off.

Sideburnz

2006-06-16T08:29:00.000-05:00

Yep.

Steve was giving me some shit about not giving him any new blogs. I felt really bad about it since he puts so much work into his blog, and all just for me, that I had to write one.

So after seeing Super Rookie with a whistle at the Stupor Bowl I finally went to Fleet Farm and bought myself one while I was there supporting this great country by buying stars and stripes lawn chairs. I love America. Why don't you? He wasn't fucking around, that thing works good. Totally stops traffic. I've already used it twice with great success. Screech saw it, you can ask him.

MTV is on in the background, some lady is interviewing some guy from tokyo drift. He's about as articulate as a 3 year old eating a peanutbutter sandwich.

By the way Steve, I think I should come over and take another look around your place and decide if I'm moving in. It seems like a good idea, I just want to see the premisise one more time before we go for it. Shaina is going abroad like December through June or some shit so we were talking about me subleasing her place if it ends up not working out. You know, incase that's just too much awesome in too small of a space for the apartment complex to handle.

CrossCheck: